A fun game to jointly explore the true character of your loved ones

It’s December 24th, the family gathered around the dinner table

“A fiery note in a fine robe, unusual combination”.

“This must be John!”, Rebecca exclaimed.

“No…! That’s grandma!”. Everybody looked at Tara, puzzled.

“But look at her dress, I think she really rocks, at age 76”, Tara defended her position.

Grandma Jane chuckled. Then she spoke. “Well, I think I’m rather ‘A queen in a package worthy of her status’”.

Tara nodded in agreement.

“So then the fiery note is John, indeed”, Rebecca tried again. “But wait, he would also ‘Profit by stirring over the fire, but not too long’…”

„What…?“ – now John protested. „That’s bollocks. I’m ‘purely exotic’.”

Tara’s eyes widened. “You… exotic? Hahaha… no way…!”

And on it went.

The family negotiated: Who is the exotic one? And would grandma Jane be the queen, or rather the one with the fiery note? But who was then the queen?

In the end, they had to decide which description best fitted which person.

What they did not know at this moment: They negotiated the distribution of little presents that were hidden behind the labels. That was the second surprise…

A little background – is this a game for you?

I have wanted to write this for a long, long time to share a little game I invented.

It’s just in time for Christmas, but the game can be played at other occasions as well.

The game will be for you if you:

  • dread the commercial side of Christmas – buying presents for people who have everything and thus contributing to cluttering their homes
  • rather want to focus on the family time spent together
  • still want to have a little ceremony with a little surprise for everybody
  • like to be creative and have a little fun together.

You can prepare this in different ways dependent on the number of people, the type of people, the money you want to invest and the time you want to spend on it.

There are some suggestions explained below.

The basic idea

Christmas is coming up, and with it the shopping mania. You think about presents – and you dread it.

This could be for different reasons. Either the people around you are already stuffocated – nobody really “needs” something. Or you don’t have the money to buy expensive things. Or you do not want any presents yourself, because you would not have any space to store more things. Or you hate the crowded shopping centers, or the crazy delivery traffic as packages are being sent back and forth from online shopping.

But you still like the little ceremony of gift-giving, the nice and cozy moment and symbolism of giving and getting a little something to and from your loved ones, as a symbol of compassion and belonging. You still like that.

So – why not do it differently this year, minimize the physical objects being exchanged and shift the energy to the ritual of the exchange instead.

This requires some creativity in the preparation.

How it works – preparation and rules of the game

This is how it works.

Preparation

  • Decide on “a little something” to give as a gift to your group of people. Think in the categories of consumables, for instance chocolate or sweets, beauty products like soap or shampoo, cooking ingredients like spices – you get the idea.
    For the sake of this explanations, let’s assume you choose chocolate.
  • Dependent on the number of people in your group, buy the appropriate number of little somethings. Assuming you are ten in your family, you would buy ten different bars of chocolate. In order to have an interesting and fun “negotiation” later, make sure to buy some unusual flavors.
  • Now comes the creative part. For each of the little somethings, invent a description based on its specific characteristics. Make sure to NOT reveal what it is. For example, you would write a description “A queen in a package worthy of her status” for a “white vanilla” flavor of chocolate, because you associate a royal quality to fine vanilla from Madagascar, and the white chocolate might remind you of a white fur coat a queen could wear. And you would not reveal that you are talking about chocolate at all. Prepare the list of descriptions for all flavors you have bought.
    Based on your own inventiveness and the time you want to dedicate to playing the game, you can make the description more straight-forward or more mystical. You could be brief or more elaborate. Try to trigger rich associations through the descriptions.
  • Wrap the little somethings in nice or simple paper, as you wish. For example, you could choose pages from the newspaper to wrap the chocolate bars. Make sure to label each package with the number that relates to the number of the respective description.

Playing the game with your family

  • At Christmas eve, gather your people around a table with the list of descriptions in the middle. Have a pen handy to note down the name that best fits each description.
    Do not let them see the little presents, so that they will not guess what it is.
  • Introduce the game by describing the task and process. For instance, you could say something along those lines:
    “Dear family, I have a little task for us. I have a list of characteristics, each describing one of our family members. We need to decide which description best fits which person. There is no right or wrong in the answers – this is about getting to know each other a little better and figure out what inner traits each of us might have. So, I have a list here, and our task is to assign the names to the description that best fits each person. Each description will get one name, and each name needs to be assigned to a description, respectively. If you have a suggestion, please share why you think that this person fits this description. Let’s go.”
  • Read each description and discuss the person that it best fits. Share your thinking behind your suggestion. Pencil in the name you settle on and continue with the next description. In our example above, you might jot down “grandma Jane” for “A queen in a package worthy of her status”
  • Be aware that you probably need to go back to earlier lines later when you change your mind. For instance, the queen description might even better fit auntie Clara, and grandma Jane is rather “a hard nut with a soft and smooth core”?
    The negotiation and attempt to optimize the matching are the fun part of the game.
    People might prefer one description over the other, or agree or disagree. Every reaction is fine and part of the game.
  • Once you have settled on the matching (with full consent or not), you can hand out the packages. Each person receives the package with the respective number of their description.
  • If people now unwrap, there will be a number of surprises. In our chocolate example, this could be the following:
    • What is in the package, finally?
    • Which flavor do I get?
    • How come that you associated this flavor with this description when preparing the game?
    • What flavors are available overall?
    • Would somebody trade their flavor with mine?
  • Allow the trading. And share the chocolate.

This is it – those are the rules.

The game is very versatile. Following are some versions of the game.

What to gift – some examples

Examples for little somethings that are consumables:

  • Sweets, chocolate, confect
  • Beauty products, soap, shampoo, tooth paste, perfume
  • Beer, wine, tea
  • Fruits, vegetables
  • Spices, herbs, oil, vinegar, other nice cooking ingredients
  • Writing supplies and stationery, different colored pencils or markers, notebooks or sticky notes
  • Craft supplies like buttons or clasps, yarn, wool, fabric, beads
  • Seeds (to plant in your garden or flower pot)
  • Downloads, e.g. songs, e-books

Little symbols and objects that are not consumable:

  • Marbles, semi-precious stones, little figurines
  • Little toys like animal figures, stuffed animals, small collectibles

If you want to go more minimalist, without buying things:

  • Objects from nature like pebbles or stones, leaves, branches, drift wood, feathers, shells
  • Coloring sheets with different motives
  • Playing cards (single cards from old and incomplete card games, can be used as bookmarks)

And even more minimalist without any physical object involved – leaving no traces except memories:

  • Poems (reading them to the respective person)
  • Recipes (downloads / online)
  • Songs (to play / sing on the day)

Still more minimalistic would be the symbolic matching of a person to a concept or thing

  • Musical instruments (just the symbolic matching, not the instrument itself)
  • Trees, flowers, fruit, vegetables
  • Animals
  • Weather or other natural phenomena
  • Authors, artists, athletes, scientists, fictional characters, celebrities, mystical figures
  • Tools, utensils
  • Colors
  • Countries, cities
  • Words, quotes, song or book title, stories

You get the idea.

Examples for descriptions

I invented the game in the two-dimensional setting. This is where the name “sudoku” originates as the two-dimensional grid resembles the sudoku grid and there must be one x in each column and row. We played the game with ten people ranging from young adults to seniors.

In the following lists, you find the descriptions with the solution in brackets. Make sure to not reveal the solution nor the category to make it more fun to negotiate.

And please note that the descriptions are not meant to be a riddle – it is totally ok if your family does not guess the solution. It might be even better if they don’t, because then there is another surprise when they finally get the present and figure out what is behind the description.

The first category is “chocolate flavors”, and here are some sample descriptions (solution in brackets):

  • 1 – Profits by stirring over the fire, but not too long. (Caramel Crème)
  • 2 – Fiery note in a fine robe, unusual combination. (White Chili)
  • 3 – A queen in a package befitting her status. (White Vanilla
  • 4 –  Double health effect, you do not even have to travel far for it. (White Strawberry Joghurt)
  • 5 –  Pure exoticism – in two components that look remotely similar in form. (White Mango Cocos)
  • 6 – Two components of enjoyment, more for those who like it intense. (Dark Nougat)
  • 7 – The contents of a hard nut, soft and delicately packed. (Cocos Praliné)
  • 8 – A kick to wake up, not only to enjoy in the morning. (Café Blanc)
  • 9 – Special component to enhance the intrinsic taste. (Fleur de Sel)
  • 10 – You can also drink it as tea, or just eat it well packaged. (Cardamom) 

The second category was toy animals, again some descriptions (solutions in brackets) as examples:

  • A – Likes to look at the world in a team and looks very cute. Communicative and curious. (Meerkat)
  • B – Is still clumsy today, but with potential to become very elegant. Striking, maximum irregular hair color. (Dalmatian Puppy)
  • C – Very fast on the road, and yet comes in sometimes second place. Considered gentle and sometimes underestimated. (Bunny)
  • D – Sure-footed, springy gait. Enjoyer and flatterer. Usually gets what he/she wants. “H” must be very careful. (Yellow Cat)
  • E – Rather green-minded, likes to make big jumps, loves to stay in the bog, keeps away from the stork. (Frog)
  • F – Likes to collect and eat nuts, climbs excellently and skillfully. Has a magnificent bushy tail. (Squirrel)
  • G – Popular with children, is often called Nicki or Mucki and has a piercing voice. Tastes good at Chimborazo. (Guinea Pig)
  • H – Very smart and playful, but often evokes disgust. Should join forces with “G” in a union. (White Mouse)
  • I – Sings little melodic, but still funny. Likes to ally with like-minded fellows and then makes a hell of a noise. (Budgerigar)
  • J – Runs very quickly, but not very long. Looks like wearing smudged mascara. (Cheetah)

Versions of the game

Version 1: Simple, linear, one-dimensional

This is the basic version that is described above.

YOU choose ONE CATEGORY of little somethings.

YOU buy ONE PIECE for each person.

YOU write the descriptions and prepare the game.

Version 2: Two-dimensional

Follows the same logic as the basic version, but you use two (or more) different categories of little somethings

YOU choose TWO CATEGORIES of little somethings.

YOU buy ONE PIECE PER CATEGORY for each person.

YOU write the descriptions and prepare the game. This will now be a two-dimensional grid.

The negotiation is now about both categories.

In our example above, category one is a chocolate bar flavor, category two is a little animal figurine. You negotiate both for each person.

Version 3: Involving the team, beginner version

YOU are still the instructor and orchestrator of the game.

EVERY PERSON buys ONE LITTLE OBJECT. EVERY PERSON writes the description and wraps the package so that even you cannot know what’s inside (neither the category nor the object).

YOU consolidate the list with the numbered descriptions and put the corresponding numbers on the packages.

Version 3: Involving the team, expert version

YOU partner with ONE OTHER PERSON. You need to find a way to make sure you do not choose the same category while not revealing your choice. For instance, one could select “consumable” while the other choses “non-consumable”. Or “edible” versus “non-edible”.

EACH OF YOU prepares ONE CATEGORY as described in the simple one-dimensional version.

You combine the two categories and play the game two-dimensional.

This way, you do not know the other person’s choice neither does the other person know yours. Hence, both have a part of the surprise.